""They say honesty is the best policy, but by process of elimination dishonesty is the second best policy."
Steven Wright
"Some people are afraid of heights, but i'm afraid of widths."
Steven Wright
"Saying i'm sorry and saying i appologize are pretty much the same, unless you are at a funeral."
Dimitri Martin
"If at first you don't suceed, skydiving is not for you."
unknown
"Suicide hotline, please hold."
unknown
"If your not living life on the edge, you are taking up to much space."
unknown
"On the other hand i have five fingers."
Steven Wright
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
unknown
"A nuclear war can ruin your whole day ."
Unknown
"Adrenalin is my drug of choice."
Unkown
"Adults are just kids with money."
Unknown
"Air Pollution Is A Mist-Demeaner."
Unknown
"All generalizations are false."
Unknown
"3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't."
Unknown
"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"
Unknown
"I admire gay men, they leave more women for me!"
Unknown"
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