About

I've got a secret. . .

Education

• El Camino Real High School

Favorite saying

• ""It's getting better all the time!" - The Beatles Stuff I've found online: "This is the strangest life I've ever known." - Jim Morrison "We adore chaos because we love to produce order." - M. C. Escher "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." - Oscar Wilde "Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith." - Steve Jobs "One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again." - Henry Ford "If you're in trouble, or hurt or need - go to the poor people. They're the only ones that'll help - the only ones." - John Steinbeck "Reality is a sliding door." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right" - George Harrison "The nearer the dawn the darker the night." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not." - Aldous Huxley "Sunbeams will soon smile through; Good mornin', good mornin' to you!" - Arthur Freed "I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels." - Jackson Browne "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement." - Snoopy "Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown "Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it." - Doug Larson "There are a lot of lies going around. . . and half of them are true." - Winston Churchill "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the world go round." - Lewis Carroll "The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right." - Mark Twain "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $50,000 for a kiss and 50¢ for your soul." - Marilyn Monroe "Love is a game that two can play and both win." - Eva Gabor "I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way!" - Carl Sandburg "This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last!" - Oscar Wilde "It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help." - Epicurus "I can show you that when it starts to rain, everything's the same; I can show you." - Lennon & McCartney "When one must, one can." - Charlotte Whitton "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." - Henry Ford "All I was doing was trying to get home from work." - Rosa Parks "I arise full of eagerness and energy, knowing well what achievement lies ahead of me." - Zane Grey "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Mark Twain "A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." - Jackie Robinson "Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius." - Benjamin Disraeli "Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson "The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change, the realist adjusts the sails." - William A. Ward "Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle." - Lewis Carroll "Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes." - Elvis Presley "Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities." - Aristotle "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill "One can find so many pains when the rain is falling." - John Steinbeck "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." - Unknown "I want to know, have you ever seen the rain comin' down a sunny day?" - John Fogerty "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." - Mark Twain "Maybe this world is another planet's hell." - Aldous Huxley "Good men must not obey the laws too well." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am." - Muhammad Ali "Desire increases when fulfillment is postponed." - Pierre Cornielle "Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted." - John Lennon "To err is human, but it feels divine." - Mae West "I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better." - Sophie Tucker "The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - Gilbert K. Chesterton "Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible." - Doug Larson "There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them." - Jim Croce "The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." - Norman Vincent Peale "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." - Joan Crawford "All faults may be forgiven of him who has perfect candor." - Walt Whitman "All men are equal before fish." - Herbert Hoover "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." - Aesop "Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain't over 'til you both get your cookie." - Alec Baldwin "If you dig it, do it. If you dig it a lot, do it twice." - Jim Croce "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe "We must become the change we want to see." - Mahatma Gandhi "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other." - Abraham Lincoln "Nobody can go back and create a new beginning. But everyone can start now and create a new ending." - Unknown "Be at war with your vices and at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man." - Benjamin Franklin "Change is the end result of all true learning." - Leo Buscaglia "Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time." - Theodore Roosevelt "In nine lifetimes, you'll never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you." - Michel de Montaigne "The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment." - Doug Larson "Christmas is over and Business is Business." - Franklin Pierce Adams "A good conscience is a continual Christmas." - Benjamin Franklin "Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'." - Bing Crosby "Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." - Calvin Coolidge "The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart." - Helen Keller "He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree." - Roy L. Smith "Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup; peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up." - Wendy Cope "Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?" - The Grinch "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allen Poe "I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education." - Wilson Mizner "Don't let the same dog bite you twice." - Chuck Berry "He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder." - M.C. Escher "A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." - Shirley MacLaine "You can observe a lot by just watching." - Yogi Berra "For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work." - Doug Larson "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail." - Benjamin Franklin "Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Never dread the winter 'til the snow is on the blanket." - Irish Proverb "The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain." - Jane Bryant Quinn "If you ain't where you are, you're noplace." - Col. Sherman T. Potter "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints; sinners are much more fun." - Billy Joel "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." - Timothy Leary "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright." - John Lennon "You can lead a man to knowledge, but you can't make him think." - Unknown "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." - Yogi Berra "The cat could very well be man's best friend, but would never stoop to admitting it." - Doug Larson "Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." - Aristotle "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it's pretty damn good." - Woody Allen "I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you're on it." - Johnny Depp "Who gossips with you will gossip of you." - Irish Proverb "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" - Abraham Lincoln "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia "When you've seen beyond yourself, then you may find peace of mind is waiting there." - George Harrison "A word to the wise is infuriating." - Hunter S. Thompson "I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty." - John Waters "Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized." - Leo Buscaglia "When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself." - Tecumseh "To give thanks in solitude is enough. Thanksgiving has wings and goes where it must go. Your prayer knows much more about it than you do." - Victor Hugo "If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down." - Tony Snow "No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks." - James Allen "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." - Irv Kupcinet "Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." - Kevin James "The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool." - Stephen King "A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on." - John F. Kennedy "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy -- and Jill a rich widow." - Even Esar "Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby." - Langston Hughes "Rain is grace; rain is the sky descending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life." - John Updike "The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows." - Buddha "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." - Edgar Allan Poe "In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost "'Buy, buy' says the sign in the shop window; 'Why, why?' says the junk in the yard." - Paul McCartney "The present is the ever moving shadow that divides yesterday from tomorrow. In that lies hope." - Frank Lloyd Wright "In misfortune, which friend remains a friend?" - Euripides "Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it." - Danny Kaye "To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first." - William Shakespeare "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop." - Lewis Carroll "Laughter is the closest distance between two people." - Victor Borge "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "When in doubt, tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends." - Mark Twain "Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet." - Roger Miller "It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom." - Joan Rivers "Rain I don't mind." - Lennon & McCartney "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein "Diligence is the mother of good luck." - Benjamin Franklin "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." - Unknown "The monster was the best friend I ever had." - Boris Karloff "It's as much fun to scare as to be scared." - Vincent Price "I have never met a vampire personally, but I don't know what might happen tomorrow." - Bela Lugosi "Procrastination is opportunity's assassin." - Victor Kiam "The future is no more uncertain than the present." - Walt Whitman "It ain't over 'til it's over." - Yogi Berra "The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle." - Unknown "Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother." - Moorish Proverb "I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson "Never, never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill ". . . well, nobody's perfect, nobody's Jesus. And look what they did to him." - Paul McCartney "Sex is like money; only too much is enough." - John Updike "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?" - Erma Bombeck "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." - John Leonard "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true." - Truman Capote "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." - Unknown "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." - Leo Buscaglia "Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." - Arthur Miller "When the sun shines, they slip into the shade and sip their lemonade when the sun shines." - Lennon & McCartney "Each misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck." - Og Mandino "We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds." - Aristotle Onassis "I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!" - Tom Lehrer "Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun." - John Lennon "If people don't wanna come out to the ballpark, nobody's gonna stop 'em." - Yogi Berra "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." - Milton Berle "Don't forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball." - Woodie Held "I know to you it might sound strange, but I wish it would rain." - Roger Penzabene "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." - Abraham Lincoln "Yesterday's home runs don't win today's games." - George Herman "Babe" Ruth "Forbid us something, and that thing we desire." - Geoffrey Chaucer "When things go wrong don't go with them." - Elvis Presley "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go." - Dr. Seuss "If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be." - Yogi Berra "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning." - Albert Einstein "I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe." - Dalai Lama "The 'Early Bird' may get the worm. . . but the second mouse gets the cheese." - Jeremy Paxman "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." - Lewis Carroll "Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day." - Friedrich Nietzsche "It's all too much." - George Harrison "Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead." - Les Brown "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I." - Oscar Levant "Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of." - Sarah Orne Jewett "A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp." - Joan Rivers "People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy." - Samuel Butler "Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose." - Kris Kristofferson "I intend to live forever, or die trying." - Groucho Marx "The more things change, the more they are the same." - Alphonse Karr "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." - Jackie Mason "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush "This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." - George W. Bush "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." - George W. Bush "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." - George W. Bush "There are things known and things unknown, and in between are the doors." - Jim Morrison "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." - Helen Keller "I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did." - Yogi Berra "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." - Confucius "Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion." - Ambrose Bierce "That would be something, it really would be something. That would be something, to meet you in the falling rain, Mama, to meet you in the falling rain." - Paul McCartney "Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West "It isn't true that you live only once. You only die once. You live lots of times, if you know how." - Bobby Darin "If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend." - Doug Larson "Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." - Red Buttons "It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan "It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." - Albert Einstein "I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won't presume to probe into the faults of others." - Mohandas Ghandi "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust "The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Bertrand Russell "Who keeps his tongue keeps his friends." - Irish Proverb "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do." - Benjamin Franklin "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on." - Samuel Goldwyn "Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits." - Mark Twain "Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." - George Bernard Shaw "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." - George Carlin "A friend is somebody you want to be around when you feel like being by yourself." - Unknown "Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence." - Robert Fripp "Never kick a cow chip on a hot day." - Will Rogers "You can lead a horse to water, but why not ride him there? You've got a horse!" - Stephen Colbert "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson "Before Elvis there was nothing!" - John Lennon "I never expected to be anybody important." - Elvis Presley "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." - Mae West "Happiness is having a scratch for every itch." - Ogden Nash "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." - James Taylor "Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. It's where all the fruit is." - Shirley MacLaine "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." - Henry David Thoreau "I have never been hurt by what I have not said." - Calvin Coolidge "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people." - Gilbert K. Chesterton "He that rises late must trot all day." - Benjamin Franklin "He that will enjoy the brightness of sunshine must quit the coolness of the shade." - Samuel Johnson "I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." - Lucille Ball "Try to realize it's all within yourself, no one else can make you change, and to see you're really only very small and life flows on within you and without you." - George Harrison "There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em." - Yogi Berra "Love all, trust few, do wrong to none." - William Shakespeare "Love your neighbor as yourself; but don't take down the fence." - Carl Sandburg "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel "I've upped my standards. Now, up yours." - Pat Paulsen "The voice of God, if you must know, is Aretha Franklin's." - Marianne Faithfull "It is as healthy to enjoy sentiment as to enjoy jam." - Gilbert K. Chesterton "Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance." - George Bernard Shaw "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain "If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow." - John Wayne "There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result." - Winston Churchill "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!" - Dr. Seuss "Lose an hour in the morning and you’ll be looking for it all day." - Irish Proverb "If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers "With every mistake, we must surely be learning." - George Harrison "We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly bought experience." - George Washington "Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting." - Unknown "Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been." - Robert Hunter "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it." - George Bernard Shaw "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." - Benjamin Franklin "Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism." - George Washington "I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink." - Joe E. Lewis "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." - Jack Handey "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin "There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm." - Willa Cather "Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde "All human wisdom is summed up in two words; wait and hope." - Alexandre Dumas "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Charles A. Beard "You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need." - Lynn Childs "If I don't have friends, then I ain't got nothing." - Billie Holiday "It’s not a delay to stop and sharpen the scythe." - Irish Proverb "If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison "Every strike brings me closer to the next home run." - George Herman "Babe" Ruth "If you don't try, if you don't do something for yourself, you won't get anywhere." - Bobby Darin "Any man can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad." - Anne Geddes "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it." - Unknown "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key." - Jack Tempchin, Robb Strandlund (for the Eagles) "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - E. M. Forster "The future ain't what it used to be." - Yogi Berra "There’s nothing so bad that it couldn’t be worse." - Irish Proverb "If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble." - Elbert Hubbard "Remember, the storm is a good opportunity for the pine and the cypress to show their strength and their stability." - Ho Chi Minh "I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains." - Anne Frank "We forge the chains we wear in life." - Charles Dickens "Let us train our minds to desire what the situation demands." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca "Envy is the ulcer of the soul." - Socrates "And what, Socrates, is the food of the soul? Surely, I said, knowledge is the food of the soul." - Plato "Plato was a bore." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." - Unknown "Without deviation progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa "Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat." - Napoleon Hill "A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." - Irish Proverb "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." - Albert Schweitzer "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." - George Burns "A vacation should be just long enough that your boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you." - Jacob Morton Braude "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller "I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best." - Oscar Wilde "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." - Jack Handey "May your heart always be joyful, may your song always be sung, and may you stay forever young." - Bob Dylan Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is? Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? What's another word for "synonym"? "If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?" - Confucius "What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money." - Henny Youngman "Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair." - Rollo May "A friend told me, 'Cheer up! Things could be worse!' So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse." - Unknown "Just a little rain, falling all around; the grass lifts its head to the heavenly sound." - Malvina Reynolds "Can you hear me, that when it rains and shines, it's just a state of mind? Can you hear me?" - Lennon & McCartney "When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein "I am sure it is a great mistake always to know enough to go in when it rains. One may keep snug and dry by such knowledge, but one misses a world of loveliness." - Adeline Knapp "People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves." - Aesop "Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends." - Euripides "It is prosperity that gives us friends, adversity that proves them." - Unknown "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit." - Helen Keller "Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses." - Alphonse Karr "You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." - Washington Irving "Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world, a mother's love is not." - James Joyce "Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible." - Marion C. Garretty "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." - Oscar Wilde "When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day." - Sam Ewing "We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us." - Francois Rabelais "You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Friedrich Nietzsche "In adversity remember to keep an even mind." - Horace "My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging." - Hank Aaron "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." - Bill Cosby "Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." - C. S. Lewis "I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddamn friends. . . they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night." - Oscar Levant "All I can do is be me, whoever that is." - Bob Dylan "Being a princess isn't all it's cracked up to be." - Princess Diana "We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less." - Diogenes "Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need." - Sarah Ban Breathnach "The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it." - Richard Bach "In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." - Ambrose Bierce "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain "There is nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever." - Alfred Hitchcock "The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet." - Ann Landers "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." - Yogi Berra "When I have a toothache, I discover that not having a toothache is a wonderful thing." - Thich Nhat Hanh "The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax." - Albert Einstein "What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin." - Mark Twain "There is no such thing as a good tax." - Winston Churchill "What one has, one ought to use: and whatever he does he should do with all his might." - Cicero "In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." - Erma Bombeck "An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt." - Fred Allen "It is strange that the years teach us patience; that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting." - Elizabeth Taylor "Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Unknown "All things come round to him who will but wait." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Never let the fear of striking out get in your way." - George Herman "Babe" Ruth "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself." - Johnny Carson "He was a wise man who invented beer." - Plato "Happiness? A good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle." - George Burns "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan "We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience." - George Bernard Shaw "All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming." - Helen Keller "Surround yourself with people you love being yourself with." - Unknown "Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf." - Albert Schweitzer "No one understands my ills, nor the terror that fills my breast, who does not know the heart of a mother." - Marie Antoinette "God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers." - Jewish Proverb "She was the best of all mothers, to whom I owe endless gratitude." - Thomas Carlyle "There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery." - Dante Alighieri "People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." - Rogers Hornsby "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." - Albert Einstein "Seek that which within lies waiting to begin the fight of your life that is everyday." - Ian Anderson "I can imagine few things more trying to the patience than the long wasted days of waiting." - Robert Falcon Scott "There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it." - Cicero "O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet." - St. Augustine "Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go." - Unknown "For every person who has ever lived there has come, at last, a spring he will never see. Glory then in the springs that are yours." - Pam Brown "As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." - Leonardo da Vinci "When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run." - Abraham Lincoln "Behold, my friends, the spring is come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love!" - Sitting Bull "Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush." - Doug Larson "With the coming of spring, I am calm again." - Gustav Mahler "Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain." - Billie Holiday "Making love in the rain, I can't believe the joy it brings me." - Herb Alpert "If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Here's to being single, drinking doubles and seeing triple!" - Irish Toast "Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!" ("Happy St. Patrick's Day!") "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." - Confucius "No one can give you wiser advice than yourself." - Cicero "As the builders say, the larger stones do not lie well without the lesser." - Plato "When you cannot get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one." - Mark Twain "Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind - listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody." - Eubie Blake "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin "Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough." - Groucho Marx "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - Bob Hope "Old age is no place for sissies." - Bette Davis "The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning." - Unknown "Everybody has a heart. Except some people." - Bette Davis "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." - Charles M. Schulz "There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that which is lost by not trying." - Francis Bacon "I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace." - Helen Keller "Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that." - George Carlin "If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them." - Robert Graves "Happiness is composed of misfortunes avoided." - Alphonse Karr "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust "That's the true harbinger of spring, not crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano, but the sound of a bat on a ball." - Bill Vreek "All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much." - George Harrison "Life flows on within you and without you." - George Harrison "Love one another." - George Harrison (his last words) "True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca "Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart." - Henry Clay "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Fred Allen "Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts." - Jim Morrison "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." - Frank Sinatra "This is the mark of a really admirable man: steadfastness in the face of trouble." - Ludwig van Beethoven "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." - e. e. cummings "If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain?" - Tom Barrett "Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place; come on with the rain, there's a smile on my face!" - Arthur Freed "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin "I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time." - Charles M. Schultz "I contend that not only can you laugh at adversity, but it is essential to do so if you are to deal with setbacks without defeat." - Allen Klein "They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom." - Confucius "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." - Mark Twain "There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast." - Charles Dickens "As a single withered tree, if set aflame, causes a whole forest to burn, so does a rascal son destroy a whole family." - Chanakya "Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck." - Don Shula "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann "After all, is football a game or a religion?" - Howard Cosell "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein "There is nothing so stable as change." - Bob Dylan "We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." - Thornton Wilder "May you live all the days of your life." - Jonathan Swift "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller "When the doors of opportunity swing open, we must make sure that we are not too drunk or too indifferent to walk through." - Jesse Jackson "The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just." - Abraham Lincoln "The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate." - Doug Larson "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day." - Samuel Butler "One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity." - Albert Schweitzer "If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it." - George Burns "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." - Will Rogers "Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." - Lily Tomlin "If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped." - Unknown "Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day." - Samuel Goldwyn "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein "Life's Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late." - Benjamin Franklin "Always do whatever's next." - George Carlin "Present, n.: That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope." - Ambrose Bierce "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." - Albert Einstein "In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive." - Lee Iacocca "Silence is one of the great arts of conversation." - Cicero "The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." - George Bernard Shaw "He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help." - Abraham Lincoln "Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off." - Phyllis Diller "Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it." - Evan Esar "Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them." - Aristotle "By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean." - Mark Twain "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." - Helen Keller "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." - Eden Ahbez "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning." - Albert Einstein "Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old." - Abraham Lincoln "You just can't beat the person who never gives up." - George Herman "Babe" Ruth "Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain." - Mae West "Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow." - Aristotle "We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression." - Confucius "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." - Charles Dickens "There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." - Erma Bombeck "Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!" - Charles Dickens "Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight." - Albert Schweitzer "Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm." - Euripides "And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow." - Gilbert K. Chesterton "Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?" - Bob Merrill "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone." - Johnny Nash "I walk down the lane with a happy refrain; I'm singin', just singin' in the rain." - Arthur Freed "Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head, and knows not that it brings abundance to drive away the hunger." - Saint Basil "In fair weather, prepare for foul." - Thomas Fuller "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "I wept not, so to stone within I grew." - Dante Alighieri "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius "Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you." - Erma Bombeck "Do unto others, then run." - Benny Hill "Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself the most comforting words of all: 'This, too, shall pass.' " - Ann Landers "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer "All you need is love." - John Lennon "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon "And so my friends, you'll just have to carry on. The dream is over." - John Lennon "Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment." - Evan Esar "Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter." - Friedrich Nietzsche "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back." - Charlie Brown "A tiger or a mountain lion can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone." - Unknown "Think off-center." - George Carlin "Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you." - Tom Lehrer "Vices are sometimes only virtues carried to excess!" - Charles Dickens "No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it." - Charles M. Schulz "A man can do only what he can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day." - Albert Schweitzer "If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure." - Dan Quayle "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." - Jon Stewart "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde "A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues." - Cicero "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns "Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." - Erma Bombeck "Keep your eyes open to your mercies. The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life." - Robert Louis Stevenson "All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw "The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more." - Wilson Mizner "And remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - Confucius "Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain." - Unknown "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx "A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "This communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects; for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half." - Aristotle "Hold a true friend with both your hands." - Nigerian Proverb "I get by with a little help from my friends." - John Lennon "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou "The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." - George Carlin "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm." - Abraham Lincoln "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." - Mark Twain "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." - Wilson Mizner "If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." - Henry David Thoreau "Oh boy, I'm lucky; I'll say I'm lucky; This is my lucky day!" - George "Buddy" De Sylva & Lew Brown (De Sylva, Henderson & Brown) "The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep." - W.C. Fields "Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate!" - Unknown "After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box." - Italian Proverb "Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds choke the unused path." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil." - Jerry Garcia "It's never just a game when you're winning." - George Carlin "Backward, turn backward, O time in your flight, and make me a child again just for to-night!" - Elizabeth Akers Allen "There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them." - Lawrence Welk "Get the facts first. You can distort them later." - Mark Twain "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra "You don't need a weather vane to know which way the wind blows." - Bob Dylan "For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else." - Winston Churchill "Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." - Benjamin Franklin "Who cares about the clouds when we're together? Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather." - Dale Evans "A man's only as old as the woman he feels." - Groucho Marx "When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them." - Plato "Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." - Dolly Parton "Bad weather always looks worse through a window." - Tom Lehrer "I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain; what a glorious feeling, I'm happy again!" - Arthur Freed "There is nothing about a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly." - Unknown "A man in the house is worth two in the street." - Mae West "Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment." - Will Rogers "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." - Helen Keller "Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep." - Carl Sandburg "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." - Unknown "There are two things a person should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot." - Plato "The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost "For after all, the best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." - Theodore Roosevelt "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." - Aristotle “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” - Oscar Wilde "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it." - W. C. Fields "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." - Benjamin Franklin "Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life." - George Burns "Let us be thankful for fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed." - Mark Twain "The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke "People want economy, and they will pay any price to get it." - Lee Iacocca "Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." - Unknown "If the wind will not serve, take to the oars." - Latin Proverb "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome." - Samuel Johnson "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat." - Lily Tomlin "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." - Abraham Lincoln "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde "There is more to life than increasing its speed." - Mahatma Ghandi "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain "Enjoy the scenery, even when you have to take a detour." - Unknown "Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults." - Chinese Proverb "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed." - Benjamin Franklin "Start every day with a smile and get it over with." - W.C. Fields "If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it." - Erma Bombeck "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." - Confucius "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schulz "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "A closed mouth gathers no feet." - Anonymous "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers "Don’t sweat the petty things - and don’t pet the sweaty things!" - George Carlin "A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit." - Helen Keller "Everything that deceives may be said to enchant." - Plato "Chance favors the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur "The grass is always greener over the septic tank." - Erma Bombeck "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." - Benjamin Franklin "It's okay to let yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back." - Mick Jagger "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller "The problem with resisting temptation is that it may never come your way again." - Unknown "One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards." - Oscar Wilde "The future will be better tomorrow." - Dan Quayle "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr. "Don't find fault - find a remedy." - Henry Ford "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung "Even if you don't have all the things you want, be grateful for the things you don't have that you don't want." - Bob Dylan "Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." - Unknown "The important thing is not to stop questioning." - Albert Einstein "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen "We know what we are, but know not what we may be." - William Shakespeare "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." - George Carlin "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" - Franklin D. Roosevelt "You can’t direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails." - Unknown "If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it." - Jonathan Winters "If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill "The years teach much which the days never know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "We choose Evil for the Good we see in it." - Aristotle "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do." - Mark Twain "Life isn't fair, but life isn't fair for everyone. That makes life fair." - Unknown "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame." - Oscar Wilde "They say that housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?" - Phyllis Diller "I will prepare, and some day my chance will come." - Abraham Lincoln "Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults." - Socrates "To live outside the law, you must be honest." - Bob Dylan "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein "The early worm gets eaten!" - Unknown "If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." - George Bernard Shaw "The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." - Benjamin Franklin "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggy' until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers "What does not kill me makes me stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." - Helen Keller "Life is a shipwreck - but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats!" - Voltaire "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." - Charles Dickens "A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde "Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa "Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for." - Will Rogers "I think I am, therefore, I am. I think." - George Carlin "Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." - Unknown "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." - Indira Gandhi "I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders." - Jewish Proverb "Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart." - Erma Bombeck "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever." - Anonymous "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." - Aesop "He who would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees." - Benjamin Franklin "We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world." - Helen Keller "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." - Groucho Marx "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde "May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live." - An Old Irish Blessing"