I may not be who I want to be, but I am working on that. I don't get up to impress you people so please don't think I do. I wish the bullying I get would stop. I won't really admit it, but it does hurt. It hurts for everyone and you never know when you will push someone over there breaking point. I love music and music helps me get throughmy problems. My favorite band is Asking Alexandria, my favorite song is Fuck The World. I am almost always honest to people so if you can't handle the truth then don't talk to me. I realize I am not the prettiest, or smartest, or nicest, but everyone has imperfections. I am only human so I do make mistakes too. stop judging and hating. Just don't be rude or snobby to me or start calling me names or talk crap about me because karma sucks when it comes to me. Trust me it does. You will wish you didn't do whatever you did to me. I am me and I am myself. I can actually say I know how to be myself. I am weird and outgoing and energetic. I am truly me. I do keep things bottled up so if I tell you something it is because I can actually trust you which I can't trust many people. I have major trust issues. So yeah, that is pretty much it besides I am 15, my favorite colors are blue and black, and I am roughly 5'3". My feelings can't just evaporate. I gave it time. The feelings never passed. You've moved on. I'm here grieving. Wasting my time on people I will never be happy with. You're going on happy as ever. I'm here more depressed than ever. I'm here hurting and you don't even know it. I used to know you. I don't know you anymore. You're gone. A lost soul. While I'm in a battle for my heart back. I see you and it hurts. Nothing has hurt more. Nothing besides seeing you with someone else. People always ask me if I'm okay. I lie and say I'm just tired. I hold back my tears. My thoughts are a mess. They're almost all of you though. I fake a smile so people believe me when I say I'm just tired or I'm okay. I have to hide my feelings. I go through life as a different person. You carry on as you. Happy as ever. Peaceful. In love. Im here alone. Sad. In pain. Things go on and on and on. I never get time to sort my thoughts. One thing leads to another. I say the wrong words. Goodbye is something I know, maybe a little to well. I've said goodbye to the people I love, and to the people I care about. They ask for more chances, but yet the goodbye seems to stick. It's stuck like glue, gorilla glue. Like it's never going anywhere. It stays. It's all I've ever known how to do. Afterall, I'm best at shutting people out. From all the mental, and physical, abuse and all the bullying and things that have been said and done, notjust by others, but by me too, just made me learn to always shut people out, to always bottle things up. Trust is a main issue for me. If you are able to earn it, then you want to keep it, if you break it, it's next to impossible to get back, if you ever get it back. I'm coldhearted when it comes to most things, but I have a big heart when it comes to a strong friendship, or relationship, and when it comes to other people's problems. I hate being touched, but I'm a hugger. It doesn't make much sense if you leave it at that. I don't like being touched unless I want to be touched, like if I need a hug or if I'm in a good mood and someone asks for a hug or if I see someone else could us e'er me comfort or a shoulder to cry on or if I'm in as relationship and want a kiss or something. Other than that I absolutely hate being touched, even if someone just pokes me or anything, I hate it. I get that from my past. I'm a countrygirl at heart even though I've been a towngirl all my life. I am a true countrygirl/cowgirl at heart. I'm like an open book and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I just try holding in some words sometimes because I know how much they could hurt. I know how a lot of things feel. I've been through it all. Heart breaks, bullies, abuse, separated parents, loosimg friends, loosing family, having a family member die, having a friend die, all the names and hurtful things in the book, depression and all that stuff that follows/comes with it, everything, I've been through it all. That's not everything I've been through, but some things can get a little personal. I know how it feels to be destroyed and emotionally torn down. I know ho's it feels to go through all those sleepless nights and all the tears. I know. I'm always here for anyone, even if we don't knows each other ornery hate ravisher, I'm still here for you.
