About

Hi and yes I am the crazy bitch your mom said stay away from!! But yet people don't / can't stay away as they want to know what I may say/do next

Favorite saying

• "Are You the Proud Parent of an "Angel"? If you answer yes to any of these questions, the answer is more than likely a resounding yes! •Have you developed the quickest reflexes around...diving for the salt shaker that is about to fly off the table...or protecting yourself from a lightning quick elbow, hand or foot jab? •Do you have bruises all over your body from the slaps, kicks, pokes etc...that came so suddenly that even your extraordinary quick reflexes couldn't help defend yourself? •Do you find yourself grabbing the hands of other adult friends at the dinner table as they reach for a dish? And do you remember to apologize profusely as they look at you in horror? •Have you visited the ER because you are unable to see (your eye won’t stop watering!) after your angel’s aim was "right on"? If you haven’t ...be prepared! It’s called an abrasion on the cornea and it heals on its own in 24 to 48 hours! Don’t bother to seek help! •Do you push everything into one small corner of the table at a restaurant the minute you sit down and instruct the waiter to do the same? •Do you find yourself apologizing your life away to strangers who have been hugged, squeezed, grabbed, had their hair pulled etc...by your favorite angel? •Have you ever had to buy a replacement hot dog, popcorn, soda, etc....for another individual who had theirs snatched by the quick hands of your angel? For example, has a friend looked away for a moment and realized that his hot dog bun no longer contained a hot dog!! •Is the dust buster one of your best friends? Couldn't live without it, right? •Do unfamiliar people wave at you and you wonder who in the world they are!?! And do you later discover that your angel is busy greeting anyone and everyone from the back seat of the car? •Do you consider yourself a champion stain remover? •Do you think you hold the world record for hugging and kissing a child...especially a TEENAGE CHILD! •Have you become a speed reader...while rapidly turning the pages of a magazine to satisfy a very impatient angel? And do the dogs in those worn magazines have evidence of being firmly "poked"? •Do you find yourself thinking unkind thoughts about rude individuals? And...deciding to take the high road, do you smile politely or ignore the rudeness...when you’d REALLY like to say "**@@!!&%%!!**!!!" •Do you find yourself fleeing for a closet, restroom, garage etc... when your angel has discovered that you’re taking an important phone call? •Have you forgotten what a good night's sleep feels like? •Are you greeted on a weekend morning (or when you’re really, really, really running late) by a very bad smell (and occasionally some giggles) coming from you know who's bedroom??? •When you hear the sound of diabolical giggling...does your heart stop while (simultaneously) your legs fly in the direction of the sound? •Do you often hear the sound of water exploding from the faucet...followed by that diabolical giggling just mentioned? •Do you find yourself using food as a motivator...BECAUSE IT WORKS!!!??? •Do you often discover that you have taken a bath with your angel even though you haven’t actually been in the tub? •Do you feel like you have spent a considerable amount of your adult life sitting in the restroom...facing the toilet??? •Have you ever felt like you have taken on the role of "midwife" in the restroom? And last but not least... •Do you sometimes feel so sad, fatigued, lonely and overwhelmed that you can’t imagine hanging in there much longer? And when you think about it for awhile... is it impossible to imagine life without the unconditional hugs and love from your angel? There's just something about that grin...and the joy that our angels express when they see us...that will help us endure. Contributed By Alice Evans Everything we ever needed to know, we learned from an Angel"... •There is no such thing as "Angel-Proofing" your house. •An Angels voice is louder then 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. •Balls make marks on ceilings. •You should not throw a ball when a ceiling fan is on. •When you hear the toilet flush and an angel laugh, it is already too late. •A king sized water bed holds enough water to fill a 200 square foot house 4 inches deep. •Legos will pass through an Angel’s digestive track. •When dialed randomly over a period of time numbers on a phone dial will combine in such a way that a three hour phone call to Scandinavia will appear on your phone bill. •VCRs do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. •Quiet does NOT mean DO NOT WORRY! •Baby powder is impossible to get out of shag carpeting. •Toothpaste and Desitin have qualities very similar to those of finger-paint. •Objects on someone else’s plate are closer then they appear. •Never leave the sprinkler or hose in such a way that your angel can turn the water on, unless you need a shower! •Small mittens also fit nicely in the VCR. •Laughter is often the best medicine. •And the most important thing our Angels have taught us is... •That just because a person can not speak does not mean they have nothing to say!"