I wake up in the morning, radiating awesomeness that causes sunlight to be attracted to me. In fact, I exude such an unfathomable amount of awesomeness that it spills out to the rest of the world, making it as awesome as I am. I piss excellence and shit perfection. The moon doesn't cause the tides to go in and out, the ubiquitous amount of sheer incomparable and awe-inspiring magnificence that radiates from my being pushes and pulls on the very waters of the Earth. Through pure unlimited, unadulterated, absolute swagger alone, I have my own gravitational pull that is necessary to sustain life itself. And no, I am not "narcissistic", nor do I have an "ego" problem; what in the world would give you that impression? Please. I'm just simply stating facts. Don't hate, appreciate all I do for you and mankind because without me, this place would be much worse if it was not for my presence.
